6.8.2005

There's a party over here, yall...

A raging party. A raging pity party. Come on over, it's a blast.

**14 days ago!!*** I hurt my back at work. I done throwed my back out. And now I can't do shit. I lay flat on the floor all day with my knees elevated by a pillow and it hurts. I stand up and stare out the windows and study the house plants, and it hurts. >>Although, thanks to staring out the windows, yesterday I saw a major crow battle high up in the air involoving one crow who was carrying a huge bundle of sticks revolving 180 degrees as she was flying to kick up at the attacking birds, just flying along on her back.<< I CAN'T SIT DOWN. As i write this, i am kneeling in front of my computer on a pillow.

Now, I ask you isn't there something wrong here? Aren't you supposed to be better after TWO WEEKS!!! I had been training vigorously for the John Muir Trail, running up to 8 miles at a pop and loving every step of it, bounding along on the trails in the park, feeling so strong and tan and sweaty, heaven. And now I am a pile of muscle atrophy on the floor. Does anyone have any experience, tips, advice you can give me?

As I lay and stare at the clock to figure out when I can take my next muscle relaxer, I ponder. What happened. The very day that I did this I talked to one of the doctors that I work with as we ate lunch about how I am so impatient with sick adults and that is why I am so glad that I work in peds. I talked about how when adults are sick, they feel sorry for themselves and dwell on the illness or injury and are therefore sicker longer. Kids want to fight from the second they fall ill. I talked obnoxiously about how I could never have the patience to take care of them, etc. And then I hurt my back. And I cannot do anything for myself. And haven't been able to for two weeks.

I felt so strong from all of my training as I sat there and spoke cruelly about the various downfalls of sick people. I was reveling in my wellness as I judged those who do not have it. I take it all back now and am appreciative of this lesson taught. I will never take for granted the health of my body. I will wake up each morning thrilled that nothing hurts or that I can go up and down the stairs. I will.

And I am indebted to Mat forever for putting up with my cry-baby, drama queen two-week long pity party. Yep, it's time to get some Red Bull, cause this party's going all night.

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